Monday, August 13, 2007

The Road Not Taken



Throughout my life two Robert Frost poems have meant a great deal to me: "Mending the Wall" and "The Road Not Taken".

The Road Not Taken ends like this:

"I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I –
I took the one less travelled by,
And that has made all the difference."

Last night Lady Sheridanne sat on a mystically suspendedhundreds-of-meters-in-mid-air platform with a long-time wise and kind friend who through the entire two-hour conversation continued to build a 19th century train station around us.

The topic:

How do you ever know if you’ve made the right decision?

The conclusion his wisdom provided is summed up in an old Aussie (Australian for the uninitiated) saying: “You must suck it and see.” -- and no this is not a reference to something seedy, it is a concept that illustrates the point that sometimes you just have to jump in the deep end and hope for the best.

Well the decision was truly sealed on the 6th, but still even as I wander ever further down this inexorable road, my heart flutters with fears so great that sometimes dying seems to be the better choice (Lady Sheridanne looks to the great Turner to hand her that revolver and ammo he continually mentions).

And because I can still see where I entered the dividing laneway, I, somewhat feel like Lot’s wife must have felt, and am continually tempted to look back and return to try to fix something I would have never have left undone.

But I did make the decision (integrity after all) and now I must gasp for sustaining and life-giving air as I pump my arms and legs to reach the surface of this raging ocean and hope with all my heart that the great Turner will be there to pull me out of this growing season into some harvest of joy.

2 comments:

turnerBroadcasting said...

Ok, whoever Turner the Great is, I'd say hes lucky because this blog seems to be every post line and measure about him. Thats totally OCD

He'd better deserve it.

I guess second if I could help at all with this continuing narrative I would say try to strip away just the whole idea that the union is fluid. I mean its obvious you've jumped through hoops.

But its not so obvious that your union or partnership ever did. I don't see anywhere where anyone is waivering. I see lots of stuff about, gee., you know I am not wanting to hurt others feelings and stuf.

turnerBroadcasting said...

PS. left the gun over at andrew's house. really it was more to try to desensitize my dog. What good of a hunting dog will you have if every time you cock the hammer of a gun the dog runs and hides?

So I was more, you know. Russian roulette and "click" and then petting the dog while the hammer falls.

It was russian roulette with rigged spinner. I finally got my pup to stop freaking out every time we set the safety off.

Its andrew's fault.