Looking for Something

She groaned, "Oh my lord,
why am I so stupid sometimes?"

"Oh," said he, "you are not, my lady!
You are only like me.
You expect the best from people --
and you keep on believing."

"Perhaps, then," she said,
"that is why I like you....
you seem to understand."

He said, "It is the way we are, my lady."

She wonders inside her heart
how "they" might be "we".
Words touch her....

Hopeful.
Optimistic.
Unrealistic.
Silly.
So very vulnerable!

"But there must be something I am missing?
Why do I always keep searching
for something", she sighs?

"You ARE searching....
Yes, this is true,
but perhaps not for what,
but for who.
Because it just might work this time",
he grins and holds her as she weeps.

'Maybe," she says.
"Yes," he says.

"It just might work,"
they say spontaneously
and together.

He touches her cheek and whispers,
"Yes, it just may work, my lady.
It just may work."

Pulling Back the Covers Just A Little

When I was a very little girl, perhaps five or six years old, I went to bed one night and as I turned over I looked around my room and there standing at the end of my bed was a big white ghost!

I was so afraid. What do you do when you are only little and a BIG ghost is in your room?!!! I stopped moving. I tried to stop breathing...thinking this big bad thing could not seem me if I didn’t move or make any noise.

My eyes would have been as big as saucers as they remained fixed on this phantasm right in front of me. Staring at it, hoping it couldn’t see me. The feelings remain strangely close still.

I slowly, ever so slowly, did what any little kid does when confronted by a ghost at the foot of their bed....I pulled the covers over my head and flattened my body to, hopefully blend into the mattress so well I would be “invisible”. And I lay there for a child’s eons, which was probably only a couple of minutes in real time.

Then I very silently lowered the sheet to see if the ghost had moved. No! Still there and the covers pulled instantly back again making sure that everything was smooth and ghost-proof with none of my fingers showing, of course.

Escape Plan

I could hear my breathing as I tried to hear if the ghost moved. No sound. Then I knew what to do. My heart was beating so VERY hard. I smoothly scooted to the very edge of the mattress. This was always my contingency plan anyway, having imagine ghosts entering my room for ages and having worked out several exit strategies. Reaching the very edge of the mattress, I slipped off the bed, ensuring I stayed fully covered by the protective sheet and rolled so carefully under the bed.

I sighed a sigh of relief as I lay there on the hard, cold wooden floor. Waiting for the ghost to realise I was no longer there and so he should go away. (Wonders why ghosts are always male to her?) Another eon passed. I was sure those were ghost shoes I could see.

NOW what could I do? Well there was my secret weapon...the most powerful weapon I knew of. Could I use it? There was really no choice for a little girl really. I screwed up my face, cupped my hands to both sides of my little mouth and shouted at the very top of my voice, “DADDY, HELP ME!!! THERE IS A BIG GHOST AT THE END OF MY BED!!!”

To the Rescue

And it was only a moment, or so it seemed, that he was there. And I will always remember peeking out from under the bed after he climbed the fourteen, uncarpeted, grey stairs to my room and watching him hesitate at the door way to see the ghost there. He began to wave his arms and tell the ghost to go away and leave his daughter alone.

I was so excited and so proud of how brave he was. And I climbed out from under the bed and ran to him and jumped into his big strong arms and let him comfort me. And I cried and he wiped away the tears and told me that no ghost would ever come in my room again because that naughty ghost would tell all his friends.

And he put be back into my bed and covered me up and tucked me in perfectly and kissed me and sat with me. And I fell asleep.

Ghosts of Today

He was right, you know, but sometimes ghosts find me in the new places I roam to as a grown up. And they stand at the end of my bed and whisper to me that my Daddy is gone and can no longer protect me. And I wonder what my contingency plan can be.

And do you know what? My Daddy, who is watching me from Heaven, always knows when this happens and he always sends someone to chase away the ghosts.

Sometimes it is my brother and sometimes it is someone who cares to love me -- but they are always fearless and so strong and they comfort me when I am afraid and tell me everything will be alright and tuck me in perfectly so I can sleep again.

I wonder if everyone has a ghost that stands at the end of their bed? Do you?