Carrying Your Words

The thought of “carrying every word you speak with you everywhere” has fascinated me since I realised it was happening in my virtual world.

So as I speak with everyone I meet, friends and strangers, I type my “conversations”-- whether they are trivial exchanges of deeply thought-through or thought-provoking -- even intimate. Every word stays in a little “folder” that stays with me through all the time I am on line. And once you figure it out you can even get it to automatically fill up your hard disk (and you better be prepared for seeing the disk fill up more quickly than you can imagine if you don’t watch it.)

I am someone who will rarely, if ever, say what I “wish I could have said” but settled for something polite or diplomatic or tender instead. Yet, try as I might, there are still hurtful things I manage to say to others. There are always words I wish I could take back. And the worst part is you can read them over and over again later so you can really kick or congratulate yourself.

Word Danger

There is an unexpected danger with this. Let’s say you and I discuss something and you go someplace and say an idea I gave you was actually yours – a new type of proof-texting comes into play and I can quickly go into the running commentary for the day and select, copy and paste you’re words onto a notecard to send to you to remind you of the truth (unless you are wise enough to establish a carefully-worded, mutually-beneficial, non-disclosure statement, better known as a NDA here. /me smiles and says, "Thank you, honey!").

Or let’s say we argue…well there is nothing like saying I told you so and producing your words to say what he said/she said! And being right as we all know is not always the best position to take in an argument if you hope to maintain the friendship or even win the argument.

Or as a dear Elven friend once said, “Bygones.” Which of course he lifted from one my all time favourite TV series, Ally McBeal. (If you ever wanted to know about me, my habits, hopes, dreams or how my love life REALLY goes, just review that series!) – meaning it is better to bow out gracefully sometimes and let you be wrong.

Worse is the danger that comes from evil people who don’t just save and then cut and paste your words to others, they change your words to reflect what they want them to say. Potentially, it can be the ultimate tool in a gossip and smear campaign. And if you live in Medieval times, like I do this is the paradigm you live with every day – lots of fun intrigue to figure out.

Moon Error

Recently, I wrote something that was spontaneously “spoken” in response to my dear (not allowed to say great anymore) Turner. A cryptic, inside comment meant as “pillow talk”. And boy did it get misunderstood big time.

So I am presently trying for all I am worth to figure out how to mend this huge rift with a truly, valuable and super and faithful and trustworthy and intelligent friend, who is also gentle (and who told me once he NEVER read blogs. This was his answer when I was hoping I could direct him to this blog so I could convey the turmoil in my heart. Well I can only hope he NOW keeps his eagle eye on this blog once in a while and sees this plea for understanding.)

As a tribute to him, he is the most graceful man I have met yet in the virtual world. More than his grace and his amazing appearance it is his wisdom and kindness. And I have had great joy trying to surprise him once in awhile – for I suspect he might be lonely like I am – so we make good friends.

He is a sought-after builder and makes me feel truly all thumbs, so it was with all my courage that I presented him with my very first two in-world creations: a very simple table that resembled a bed table (the kind you put over your lap when you’re sick in bed) and a pillow. (It is rather embarrassing to think back at how stupid this must have seemed to him at the time but he surprised me by appreciating the thought. In the virtual world you could buy someone great gifts, but home made is always better – my Mom always said that!)

My greatest moment came when I struggled to build a little golden bird, with no instructions. I loved the look on his face when he took it out and looked it and said he was pleased with the effort. And then we danced as we talked and talked and talked…sometimes about me, then about him, then about me, then about him. He is very wise you know.

I would not want to be in-world and not be able to have him as my true friend so I will keep trying to fix this and also be even more careful of ever word I say.

As my favourite Book puts it: ‘"And I say to you, that every careless word that men shall speak they shall render account for it in the day of judgment. For by your words you shall be justified, and by your words you shall be condemned.’” [Matthew 12:36-37]