US & THEM

(My version of “Us and Them”. See: Colorless Green Ideas)

Taxonomy

Taxonomy, 1. the theory and techniques of describing, naming and classifying living and extinct organisms on the basis of similarity of their anatomical and morphological features and structures, etc., 2. the practice or technique of classification. From the Greek taxis = arrangement.

And God Said

“Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.’ And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. And the man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him.” – New American Standard Version of the Bible, Genesis 18-20

The first job ever listed in the Bible was sorting and naming all the animals in an effort to find the perfect first mate for the perfect first man. Once done, we all know there needed to be something new and very special created -- so it was sort of the first gap analysis, if you think about it.

Sorting People

There are so many ways to sort people. We all do it, all the time. In fact from recent studies we know that in the first 30 seconds you identify race first, then gender, then go on to run through a list of other sorting mechanisms we all use typically or specifically with regard to our own identity.

We sort to make every day decisions of who to speak to at a social function or who to call back first from a list of possibilities. We sort as we make life-changing decisions as to whom we will marry or partner with. Sorting occurs at great turning points in history -- “and whose side are you on anyway?” We look to see who is standing with us or against us in any situation or whether we choose to stand-alone.

We sail through our lives in many roles too – all of our roles and loyalties and associations call for different types of sorting. We may be a father, son, husband, lover, mate, brother, business man, athlete. We are part of many groups and loyalties at once, such as a woman’s leadership forum, an industry association, a parent-teacher group, a conservative or liberal political party, an American or an Aussie, a Hindu or a Christian or Muslim.

Pain in the Choosing

Can you remember a time in school when they were choosing up teams for say a softball team? Ok two “captains” are chosen. Instead of doing something that doesn’t hurt the ego, the teacher tells each of the “captains” to choose their team. They do this by prolonging the agony and humiliation of those to be choosen, by taking turns one at a time calling the name of the best softballers in the group to the “Bad News Bears” left at the bottom of the barrel. Potentially soul-destroying if you are in the last few or the last one to be picked by your colleagues! And being choosen first or last continues throughout your life.

There are many other ways we are sorted, including obvious ways such as through gender or race (although we are no longer officially “supposed” to do this).

We all start our lives with being a good girl or a bad girl; a bad boy or a good boy; a good student or a bad student; someone who scores well in college placement tests or goes to work or a technical school. Once we apply for a job we will be sorted by the way we fill in an application or get to the interview on time.

Sorting "Tools"

There are a variety of fun to professional sorting tools that are “deeply probing psychological instruments” that can tell us conclusively whether we kiss well or don’t kiss well, are good in bed or not (Cosmopolitan Magazine type tools) to professional tools such as birth order, Emotional Intelligence, Birkman or Myers Briggs -- all are created to help us sort everyone into “us and them”.

After many years of creating and facilitating a workshop called, “Corporate Dancing” even I felt compelled to create a tool call “The Key Relationship Management Tool” to help people identify and sort those they work with in an effort to help them more easily “get their way in a business setting”.

We all know how to sort people around us. (There are still people who will deny they do this, but you can't walk through life and see another person and NOT do this. So just get real and quit being in that group that denies they are human!) We begin sorting people the moment we can recognise this is Mommy or Daddy and this is NOT Mommy or Daddy.

Some of us are far better at being accurate with our sorting than others, but the end result of sorting can be disappointing as we mature into adults, especially if we spend too much time on this or use criteria that is not actually beneficial (such as sorting people because of their eye or hair colour or perceived race, handicap, political or religious associations).

Our world, whether real or virtual grows more divisive every day. Some -- who have so much to offer -- are still waiting in the bunch to be called for a team. Look around you today and see if someone -- who may initially look insignificant -- might actually make great allies or friends, teachers or guides. Think carefully about the criteria you use to sort -- because you could sort out the very person or people who will change your life -- or love you forever.