Don't Give Up...

Why DO we give up? (Reference: See earlier post: "Thank You Friend")

Is it because we are tired? Because we did not train enough before we started? Did we forget to take the right equipment or to even get it in the first place? Do we give up because we feel unworthy or hopeless by the circumstances? Do we give up because we have no more choices or because we are tired of the choices? Do we give up because our body, mind or soul is simply worn out? Does our heart become so burdened by circumstances we finally relinquish our fight and simply crawl under them?

Sometimes we give up because we do not have enough information about what is going on. That is likely too often true. Like Rudard Kippling’s story: The six blind men and the elephant, everyone has their own view of a situation: like a palm leaf, like a rope, like a tree, like a wall or well you know what I mean.

I see things my way and you see the same things differently. And what may be hurting me may only be my personal, myoptic perspective of the situation. (You say tO-mato, I say to-mAto.)

So I seek you out and ask you to come look at my “elephant” to see if perhaps you see what I see or if you see something slightly or entirely different. And you tell me. So then I think about what you see and compare it with what I see. Sometimes that helps me and sometimes it hurts me….especially when my vision was cloudy and yours is so clear. (This is known as the flat-of-the-palm-hitting-the-forehead “duh”)

We are Alone or Are We?

In the introduction to The New Individualism (Elliot & Lemert) we read:

“Everywhere in contemporary society, peple desperately search for self-fulfilment and try to minimise as much as possible interpersonal obstacles to the attainment of their egocentric designs – as the culture of individualism has come to represent not only personal freedom but the essential shape of the social fabric itself. – in the so-called do-it-yourself society, we are now all entrepreneurs of our own lives.

“What is unmistakable about the rise of individualist culture, in which constant risk taking and an obsessive preoccupation with flexibility rules, is that individuals much continually strive to be more efficient, faster, leaner, inventive and self-actualising than they were previously – not sporatically, but day-in day-out.”

In this quote there is heaps gold. It is the divide and conquer strategy we see at work today everywhere. If we are too busy to reach out to another, that works to isolate us. If we are too emotionally drained, that isolates us. If we are fearful of what others may think of us or how we are seeing a situation or how we are coping or reacting with a situation in comparision to their “apparent” competence and skill, that will completely isolate us. We give up because do not see the choices and we feel so all alone.

Coming Up For Victory

What can we do to climb back out from under the circumstances? We can screw up all our courage and focus it so we can march to another in whom we have trusted before and we can ask for their ear and for their wisdom.

They say there is wisdom in many counsellors, just choose your counsellors wisely.

If we take the step to ask for help; and if we listen carefully, they will more than likely whisper part of the answer for us. Then we can put the puzzle pieces together stronger than ever before and upon this assembled and sturdy base we can stand again and begin the healing process.

But it is our choice. Will we take action or simply huddle under the situation trembling with fear?