To Sleep Perchance to Dream

“To be, or not to be,--that is the question:--Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to sufferThe slings and arrows of outrageous fortuneOr to take arms against a sea of troubles,And by opposing end them?--To die,--to sleep,--No more; and by a sleep to say we endThe heartache, and the thousand natural shocksThat flesh is heir to,--'tis a consummationDevoutly to be wish'd. To die,--to sleep;--

“To sleep! perchance to dream:--ay, there's the rub;For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,Must give us pause: there's the respectThat makes calamity of so long life;For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,The pangs of despis'd love, the law's delay,The insolence of office, and the spurnsThat patient merit of the unworthy takes,When he himself might his quietus makeWith a bare bodkin? who would these fardels bear,

“To grunt and sweat under a weary life,But that the dread of something after death,--The undiscover'd country, from whose bournNo traveller returns,--puzzles the will,And makes us rather bear those ills we haveThan fly to others that we know not of?

”Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;And thus the native hue of resolutionIs sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought;And enterprises of great pith and moment,With this regard, their currents turn awry,And lose the name of action.--Soft you now!”

- Hamlet, Act III, Scene 1, William Shakespeare
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I tried to research grief with respect to fatigue, but didn’t find as much as I hoped for. But I am tired. I am tired of the way things are going in my land of virtual dreams, I am tired my new partner has been away so long and hasn’t been around to comfort me through this dark time and I am tired that my Dad took leave of this world without my being there with him to hold his hand through the moment.”

Three. My Dad was wise. In fact my Dad was the wisest man who ever lived (that’s my opinion and I’m sticking to it, so don’t try to convince me otherwise!), and one of the things he always said is that bad things come in threes. So I’ve had my fill now and the quota is full and I can take leave from dark events for a while.

What this means is that I have wandered into a deep valley but am now, albiet it slowly, walking back out of it. The funeral for my Dad is over and Doris is sorting out her new solitary life.

The (never to be called great again) Turner has promised to have victory over the T-1 cable provider this day and after he does all the important stuff in his virtual life, has told me he would finally catch up with me again if he has time (makes me feel really important, that does – there will be a payment to extract for such an attitude to be sure).

And my virtual land….well that will take time. Evil is afoot and growing stronger. Some of us remain there to be part of the solution and I am one of them…even when the going gets tough, discouraging and even dangerous. I love my realm and want to help the people who live there and visit there and I have great hope.

So today I will do my old rounds and look for familiar faces and embrace those who also need encouragement with my 90-second, Sheridanne’s-special hug (the one that leads to giggles and helps people de-stress) and hope that will help make just a small difference as I heal slowly.

For today….that is all the energy I have. So sharing it will be enough for as long as I can share it and then I must rest again and continue to regain my strength from a month of three challenges.