Good, Better, Best

You have wonder how this little, low budget movie was one of the top money earners of all time? Perhaps we identified with the characters and the situations a bit more than anyone would have expected.

US & THEM

(My version of “Us and Them”. See: Colorless Green Ideas)

Taxonomy

Taxonomy, 1. the theory and techniques of describing, naming and classifying living and extinct organisms on the basis of similarity of their anatomical and morphological features and structures, etc., 2. the practice or technique of classification. From the Greek taxis = arrangement.

And God Said

“Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.’ And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. And the man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him.” – New American Standard Version of the Bible, Genesis 18-20

The first job ever listed in the Bible was sorting and naming all the animals in an effort to find the perfect first mate for the perfect first man. Once done, we all know there needed to be something new and very special created -- so it was sort of the first gap analysis, if you think about it.

Sorting People

There are so many ways to sort people. We all do it, all the time. In fact from recent studies we know that in the first 30 seconds you identify race first, then gender, then go on to run through a list of other sorting mechanisms we all use typically or specifically with regard to our own identity.

We sort to make every day decisions of who to speak to at a social function or who to call back first from a list of possibilities. We sort as we make life-changing decisions as to whom we will marry or partner with. Sorting occurs at great turning points in history -- “and whose side are you on anyway?” We look to see who is standing with us or against us in any situation or whether we choose to stand-alone.

We sail through our lives in many roles too – all of our roles and loyalties and associations call for different types of sorting. We may be a father, son, husband, lover, mate, brother, business man, athlete. We are part of many groups and loyalties at once, such as a woman’s leadership forum, an industry association, a parent-teacher group, a conservative or liberal political party, an American or an Aussie, a Hindu or a Christian or Muslim.

Pain in the Choosing

Can you remember a time in school when they were choosing up teams for say a softball team? Ok two “captains” are chosen. Instead of doing something that doesn’t hurt the ego, the teacher tells each of the “captains” to choose their team. They do this by prolonging the agony and humiliation of those to be choosen, by taking turns one at a time calling the name of the best softballers in the group to the “Bad News Bears” left at the bottom of the barrel. Potentially soul-destroying if you are in the last few or the last one to be picked by your colleagues! And being choosen first or last continues throughout your life.

There are many other ways we are sorted, including obvious ways such as through gender or race (although we are no longer officially “supposed” to do this).

We all start our lives with being a good girl or a bad girl; a bad boy or a good boy; a good student or a bad student; someone who scores well in college placement tests or goes to work or a technical school. Once we apply for a job we will be sorted by the way we fill in an application or get to the interview on time.

Sorting "Tools"

There are a variety of fun to professional sorting tools that are “deeply probing psychological instruments” that can tell us conclusively whether we kiss well or don’t kiss well, are good in bed or not (Cosmopolitan Magazine type tools) to professional tools such as birth order, Emotional Intelligence, Birkman or Myers Briggs -- all are created to help us sort everyone into “us and them”.

After many years of creating and facilitating a workshop called, “Corporate Dancing” even I felt compelled to create a tool call “The Key Relationship Management Tool” to help people identify and sort those they work with in an effort to help them more easily “get their way in a business setting”.

We all know how to sort people around us. (There are still people who will deny they do this, but you can't walk through life and see another person and NOT do this. So just get real and quit being in that group that denies they are human!) We begin sorting people the moment we can recognise this is Mommy or Daddy and this is NOT Mommy or Daddy.

Some of us are far better at being accurate with our sorting than others, but the end result of sorting can be disappointing as we mature into adults, especially if we spend too much time on this or use criteria that is not actually beneficial (such as sorting people because of their eye or hair colour or perceived race, handicap, political or religious associations).

Our world, whether real or virtual grows more divisive every day. Some -- who have so much to offer -- are still waiting in the bunch to be called for a team. Look around you today and see if someone -- who may initially look insignificant -- might actually make great allies or friends, teachers or guides. Think carefully about the criteria you use to sort -- because you could sort out the very person or people who will change your life -- or love you forever.

I Dreamed Last Night!!

It is said the human being is the only animal that goes to bed when it is not sleepy and gets up when it is!

I like that quote because it is so true. I don’t remember the last time I dreamed. I average about five hours or less of sleep each night and have averaged this amount since about January this year. I seem unable to sleep longer and when I try, I get massive headaches. Yet it is the dreaming I have missed. The truth is we all dream, we just don’t remember our dreams, especially when we don’t get enough sleep, or at least that is one theory.

Well I dreamed last night! And it was a dream of unrequited love of 18 years! Eighteen years ago, I met this wonderful man when I was just beginning another relationship and would never consider having two relationships at the same time.

But one weekend I travelled to his city and we went to see The Phantom of the Opera. I stayed at the famous Windsor hotel, a most remarkably romantic, Victorian-era hotel. He met me in the foyer and we had a little snack and glass of Champaign before strolling to the theatre. I had secured fourth-row centre seats (right under the chandelier). The play went perfectly and he was surprised and thrilled at the music and the drama. He was also very attentive. It was fairy-book!

Afterwards, we strolled hand-in-hand back to the hotel, went into the grand dining area and had some supper and another glass of Chamaaign. Then, he walked me to my room. My heart was racing. From the day I had met him I had fancied him and even though I had not known him long, I loved his manners and gentlemanliness around me. He treated me like I was special.

And here he was at my hotel room door!

He took the key from my hand and opened the door and held it open as I walked through it. Then he stood at the entrance holding the door open and I leaned against the door jam with my heart screaming at me. He leaned in to kiss me and…I pulled away.

He smiled gently and bid me good night and I stood at that door and watched him walk away.

In all our eighteen years of wonderful and close friendship, he never again attempted a kiss! And I have kicked myself a hundred thousand times for the lost opportunity.

Well last night in my very long and very vivid dream, he kissed me (and that is all that happened for you perves because I woke up like Sleeping Beauty at the touch of his lips on mine)!

As I woke and realised what I had been dreaming I thought perhaps I was dying because of the unlikelihood of the dream – for I have not once, not EVER dreamed of his kissing me.

In fact, I have made up my mind that I am going to call him today and TELL him about the dream….because, who knows, people die suddenly and they never get to tell people how much they mean to them. I would hate to think he never hears about this silly dream or realises the longevity of my silly “crush” after all these years. And…perhaps he will come and kiss me just once, so I can tell how soft his lips are.

Is there someone you are dreaming about? Be brave and tell them…anything can happen today -- and when you least expect it.

To Be, To Sleep, To Dream

To Sleep Perchance to Dream

“To be, or not to be,--that is the question:--Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to sufferThe slings and arrows of outrageous fortuneOr to take arms against a sea of troubles,And by opposing end them?--To die,--to sleep,--No more; and by a sleep to say we endThe heartache, and the thousand natural shocksThat flesh is heir to,--'tis a consummationDevoutly to be wish'd. To die,--to sleep;--

“To sleep! perchance to dream:--ay, there's the rub;For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,Must give us pause: there's the respectThat makes calamity of so long life;For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,The pangs of despis'd love, the law's delay,The insolence of office, and the spurnsThat patient merit of the unworthy takes,When he himself might his quietus makeWith a bare bodkin? who would these fardels bear,

“To grunt and sweat under a weary life,But that the dread of something after death,--The undiscover'd country, from whose bournNo traveller returns,--puzzles the will,And makes us rather bear those ills we haveThan fly to others that we know not of?

”Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;And thus the native hue of resolutionIs sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought;And enterprises of great pith and moment,With this regard, their currents turn awry,And lose the name of action.--Soft you now!”

- Hamlet, Act III, Scene 1, William Shakespeare
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I tried to research grief with respect to fatigue, but didn’t find as much as I hoped for. But I am tired. I am tired of the way things are going in my land of virtual dreams, I am tired my new partner has been away so long and hasn’t been around to comfort me through this dark time and I am tired that my Dad took leave of this world without my being there with him to hold his hand through the moment.”

Three. My Dad was wise. In fact my Dad was the wisest man who ever lived (that’s my opinion and I’m sticking to it, so don’t try to convince me otherwise!), and one of the things he always said is that bad things come in threes. So I’ve had my fill now and the quota is full and I can take leave from dark events for a while.

What this means is that I have wandered into a deep valley but am now, albiet it slowly, walking back out of it. The funeral for my Dad is over and Doris is sorting out her new solitary life.

The (never to be called great again) Turner has promised to have victory over the T-1 cable provider this day and after he does all the important stuff in his virtual life, has told me he would finally catch up with me again if he has time (makes me feel really important, that does – there will be a payment to extract for such an attitude to be sure).

And my virtual land….well that will take time. Evil is afoot and growing stronger. Some of us remain there to be part of the solution and I am one of them…even when the going gets tough, discouraging and even dangerous. I love my realm and want to help the people who live there and visit there and I have great hope.

So today I will do my old rounds and look for familiar faces and embrace those who also need encouragement with my 90-second, Sheridanne’s-special hug (the one that leads to giggles and helps people de-stress) and hope that will help make just a small difference as I heal slowly.

For today….that is all the energy I have. So sharing it will be enough for as long as I can share it and then I must rest again and continue to regain my strength from a month of three challenges.

An Ordinary Knight Has Passed

Boromir was a brave and faithful man who tirelessly and valiantly defended those weaker than himself at any cost, including giving his life for others. It is the way he lived and it is the way he died, or that is what we know of this mythical man from Tolkien’s wonderful stories.

I’ve chosen this video to mark the passing of my second Dad, Owen Smith, who never held a sword but cut a million heads of hair with his trusty scissors while his golden smile and sweet wit held peoples attention. He was an ordinary man filled with extraordinary courage and hope -- and most of all love.

He fell in love with a woman he spent over 55 years with -- his beloved Doris. To me I can’t think of one of them without the other, it as if that Biblical concept of becoming one flesh was manifest in their every reflection, word, action, deed, song.

Yet he was the quiet one to me, the one always ready with a smile that could melt an iceberg. So sincere whether he was mucking out the stables or milking Goaty-Goat in the back yard or making Doris her hot cup of tea served in bed every possible morning of their wonderful relationship.

One year, he dug a pond on their land and laboured more hours than I could imagine, making it just perfect for his sweet Doris, the family, friends and strangers. And it was a constant labour for him from the day it was just a dream - but he fished there and we ice skated and went swimming there. It was wonderful!

A Gentle Knight

He taught me gently about his love of the Lord and the simple act of praying “just regular and from your heart”. In fact I never heard a high-flung word from his lips. He was living lessons to me, never preaching, never even correcting – unless I was about to jump out of the hayloft and break a bone.

I would have loved to be there with the rest of the family during this time but I know he knew just how very much I loved him. I wanted to say something profound about him – words are all I know – but I have no more profound words to say than this Scripture passage to mark his going home to be with his Lord and Saviour than these unlikely ones:

Jesus taught: “’You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbour, and hate your enemy’; but I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you in order that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.

"For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax gatherers do the same? Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect. Beware of practicing your righteousness before men to be noticed by them; otherwise you have no reward with your Father who is in heaven.’” Matthew 5:42-6:1

He was just an ordinary knight, who never had armour or a sword; and his horse was little and slow and not even white. But he is the only knight I have ever known who knew what it was to stand for something so gently and so faithfully without attention or praise, never wavering his entire life – faithful to a concept so few can conceive of. He stood for the Lord and for his beloved Doris with GRACE.

My life has been so enriched by him and I will miss him, but will never forget his lessons. And there will be no greater reward than his at his homecoming.

Don't Give Up...

Why DO we give up? (Reference: See earlier post: "Thank You Friend")

Is it because we are tired? Because we did not train enough before we started? Did we forget to take the right equipment or to even get it in the first place? Do we give up because we feel unworthy or hopeless by the circumstances? Do we give up because we have no more choices or because we are tired of the choices? Do we give up because our body, mind or soul is simply worn out? Does our heart become so burdened by circumstances we finally relinquish our fight and simply crawl under them?

Sometimes we give up because we do not have enough information about what is going on. That is likely too often true. Like Rudard Kippling’s story: The six blind men and the elephant, everyone has their own view of a situation: like a palm leaf, like a rope, like a tree, like a wall or well you know what I mean.

I see things my way and you see the same things differently. And what may be hurting me may only be my personal, myoptic perspective of the situation. (You say tO-mato, I say to-mAto.)

So I seek you out and ask you to come look at my “elephant” to see if perhaps you see what I see or if you see something slightly or entirely different. And you tell me. So then I think about what you see and compare it with what I see. Sometimes that helps me and sometimes it hurts me….especially when my vision was cloudy and yours is so clear. (This is known as the flat-of-the-palm-hitting-the-forehead “duh”)

We are Alone or Are We?

In the introduction to The New Individualism (Elliot & Lemert) we read:

“Everywhere in contemporary society, peple desperately search for self-fulfilment and try to minimise as much as possible interpersonal obstacles to the attainment of their egocentric designs – as the culture of individualism has come to represent not only personal freedom but the essential shape of the social fabric itself. – in the so-called do-it-yourself society, we are now all entrepreneurs of our own lives.

“What is unmistakable about the rise of individualist culture, in which constant risk taking and an obsessive preoccupation with flexibility rules, is that individuals much continually strive to be more efficient, faster, leaner, inventive and self-actualising than they were previously – not sporatically, but day-in day-out.”

In this quote there is heaps gold. It is the divide and conquer strategy we see at work today everywhere. If we are too busy to reach out to another, that works to isolate us. If we are too emotionally drained, that isolates us. If we are fearful of what others may think of us or how we are seeing a situation or how we are coping or reacting with a situation in comparision to their “apparent” competence and skill, that will completely isolate us. We give up because do not see the choices and we feel so all alone.

Coming Up For Victory

What can we do to climb back out from under the circumstances? We can screw up all our courage and focus it so we can march to another in whom we have trusted before and we can ask for their ear and for their wisdom.

They say there is wisdom in many counsellors, just choose your counsellors wisely.

If we take the step to ask for help; and if we listen carefully, they will more than likely whisper part of the answer for us. Then we can put the puzzle pieces together stronger than ever before and upon this assembled and sturdy base we can stand again and begin the healing process.

But it is our choice. Will we take action or simply huddle under the situation trembling with fear?

Brute Force

When I first began to teach, I thought my way was the right and only way. Then one day, like being struck by a bolt of fiery lightening I saw something profound:

God has a way of pulling you to Him through His personal-designed life plan until you look up one day and recognise and acknowledge Him. He is capable of handling post-pull life too.

Remember the statement: "God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life"? Well, that was what was supposed to happen. However, what does typically happen is that, yes, God does love you, but everyone else has a plan for your life!

When in fact, as personal as your walk to God was, once you agree to that personal relationship, the walk to follow Him back into His world as His "disciple" is also as personal & well planned as the walk to Him – and He (not others) is in charge for effecting the changes He has designed for you that will unfold in His time for His purposes.

No other person does or can know another’s heart or what is in God's heart for another person. It is dangerously assumptive for someone to tell another what to do in these matters.

What is true, in fact the only truth I know on this topic is this: “There is my opinion. There is your opinion. And there is God’s Word.”

Biblical wisdom says we must wait upon Him and not worry about someone else’s walk or “wisdom”. God actually doesn’t need our help to correct others – that is what He left His Word to do.

Jesus said: “’Do not judge lest you be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. And why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?’” – Matthew 7:1-3

So leave judgement in the hands of the One who sees stuff in perspective. A better use of energy is spent encouraging someone to read the life Manual for themselves and to set an example of living those principles. That will go a long way in helping someone grow.
When we tell or try to legislate or manipulate people with “should or shouldn’t behaviour”, it fails. Why? Not really sure, sort of why if I tell you not to think of a pink elephant that doesn’t work either….from the very beginning, it didn’t work….and it still doesn’t.

The Day the Earth Stood Still

Can there be peace when there is diversity? If not there will be war. War is not good...we need to learn how to work and live together. The opposite of that is just too dreadful to think of.

Diversity & Religious Freedom in the Virtual World

Well now I have done it -- started a topic from which there is no escape!

What happens when anyone in the world can enter the same room (shades of “The Day the Earth Stood Still”) and begin to talk together thanks to the growing influence of “English” (in it’s many forms) becoming the language of commerce (as Greek once was) and due to a nifty little attachment you can wear in my virtual world, called the Babbler now version 3.1.7

So everyone can talk with each other. What do we notice first of all? Well scientific research shows we first notice “race”, then gender. From then we may begin to look for other similar reference points we can “relate to or start a conversation about.

Diversity Reigns Supreme

In my virtual world of Avilion, for instance, the smorgasbord of races and types of characters is too astounding to imagine – most races (we call classes) are welcome. As our Charter states:

“We welcome all to our land, human and creature alike. These include and are not limited to, Elven, Drow, Dragon, Faerie, Pixie, Dwarf, etc.” – The Avilion Charter

Everything from centaurs and mermaids, Drow (dark and typically cranky Elves), magpies, little white or light brown bunnies, werewolves, neko, vampires and just plain humans of various ages from 4-1/2 to grandpas and those of inestimable ages, such as the Druids and Elven. Even Furries are welcome in my realm ((and I have never quite figured out what they are about at all, but they look like a human being in a skin-tight furry fox outfit)).

With this diversity of races, sometimes-strange scenarios arise. For instance, I am a little (6’11”) Elven warrior woman and I may be speaking with a 10 foot tall blue orc with 8 inch white teeth. I may have to go meet with a 20 foot tall bright red, scaly dragon with wings twice as wide as he is tall arguing with a little 3 foot pink Fae with wings that look just like a rainbow.

Avilion - Open-armedly Diverse

Our Charter again tells why:

“Those with the gift of the mind, and of the sword, exiled themselves to the Island, and with the power gained by their unity, chose to save the Island by shrouding it in a Mist. Those of the Isle gave up all that they possessed, and chose the peaceful co-existence on Avilion Isle.” --The Avilion Charter

So, again, as in the film, “The Day the Earth Stood Still”, those who choose to here are here because there is no place left for them in the rest of the world. They have found their perfect sanctuary, and willingly sacrifice the natural enmity they may have for one another.

However, It is the 16th Century, or thereabouts depending on who you speak with, so there is sometimes even a little dangerous intrigue.

Religions Freedom

“After the King, King to all, Christians and Pagans alike, passed, those non-believers sought to destroy his work.” The Avilion Charter

Within Avilion there is not only diversity, but also accompanying and critical religious freedom and tolerance ((such as is guaranteed within the Declaration of Independence in the United States of America)). In Avilion, our Lord and Lady are Druid and Drow and have an openly benevolent tolerance for different religious beliefs.

This guarantees that no believer or non-believer has to worry about being thought less of, or more than, any other because of their religious or non-religious preferences.

I have the delightful pleasure of performing “hand-clasping” or partnership ceremonies (like a wedding in the modern world) and I must write respectful ceremonies for those with no faith and those with deep faith in a variety of entities and gods and powers and Unknown Gods and unknowable gods, as well as “the God as we know and understand Him ((or her)), a Power greater than ourselves” and for those who are happy to trust in themselves alone (dust to dust).

All are respected. For without religious freedom, our realm would not last long. Consider for a moment what happened in the 16th Century during Henry VIII’s time. His changing desires and appetites dictated religious preference for the subjects of his kingdom and eventually destroyed his kingdom and legacy.

War and Religion

The danger in proscribing religion for others is that someone’s relationship with their spiritual (or lack of spiritual) identity crosses the barriers of privacy and freedom and right.

In Man’s Search For Meaning – the author, Victor Frankl, who spent so many months in a concentration camp in the worst of physical conditions, learned that:

“When all the familiar goals in life are snatched away, what alone remains is, the last of human freedoms – the ability to choose one’s attitude in a given set of circumstances -- this ultimate freedom, helps us all appreciate man’s capacity to rise above outward fate and circumstances.”

They say a war is started somewhere in the world every twenty minutes and many ((perhaps most)) are started when one person or group of people wish to impose their beliefs on another person or group. This has never worked and it can never work. Religious freedom in a world of increasing diversity is the only hope.

Sharing your beliefs with someone because they see your admirable and peaceful example is another thing all together and is the effective way of “spreading the word” of what works for you….perhaps a little more of this wouldn’t go astray. We are all looking for good examples…

Life - First & Second & Third & ....

I got up this morning at 2:30 AM to finish writing a service to wed two lovely people in my virtual world (yes, that was 2:30AM when it was still very dark and quiet here).

The two I wed (called "hand clasping" or partnering) were Johnny and Gwen. He is a 552 year old Vampire-Neko (a Neko is a half human (half leopard in his case) and half big cat). She is one of the most lovely Elven ladies I know of. And because of this partnership, he will be freed from his Vampire needs because of true love.

The service went well, although due to typical technical “storms” that crashed several people out of the world (or for Matrix fans, off the grid) we ran behind schedule -- and for me that is just not easily excusable.

The reception after was held at our drum circle fire and everyone was there enjoying themselves with virtual wedding cake and virtual champagne, ale and mead. There was a terrific best man’s speech that balanced the sweet and naughty things just perfectly (thank you again SF).

Right after, I transported to a huge green crystal grotto beside a very lovely, sandy white beach to met with an old friend from Greece. But when my feet touched the sand I crashed out of the system again. So decided to do other work for a while.

Sad Phone Call

The phone rang and my little brother (really 6 foot tall and so strong and handsome) was on the line. This is a VERY rare occurrence and like a precious gift for me.

The news however, he hesitated to share with me, was that the man I will always think of as my second Dad, Owen, is being taken off life support today.

He is 80 and has had a wonderful and full life, although the last year has been filled with his body slowly shutting down despite all efforts to stop this. He and his wife, Doris (who is the best second Mom you could imagine) were people who helped change my life by always being there for me and for praying for me every day since I was twelve years old. They believed in me. They never missed a birthday or a holiday with a call and a card and a fax no matter where in the world I might be on the day.

You know, we all lose people we love (or will in life) -- this is true. Losing Owen will be a very difficult loss for me (though not as significant as losing my real Dad). Owen is the quiet one of the two, who always has a smile on his face. He has the most amazing appetite and has worked so hard every day I knew him.

A Virtual Birth

So I feel sad right now. Then I balance this sadness with the memory of a birth. Yes in the virtual world you can have babies (There is a tremendous emphasis on making babies, so of course someone had to think of the swelling belly and all that goes with it). It was a joy for me when a couple of months ago I had the privilege to watch as my dear special friends, Amin and Red brought their daughter, Maya, into the virtual world. It was amazing to see this happen -- even though it wasn’t “real”.

I have no idea how life will turn out for Maya in the future (will she go to some virtual MIT or Cambridge or get married to a truck driver and have half a dozen children?). The symbolism, however, cannot be lost on all of us who might otherwise stand far apart in RL (real life) and look down on out little computers and forget what is going on. We must never, for a moment, fail to recognise the significance of each individual’s AV (avatar or representation of the human who sits behind the AV and “pulls the strings” if you will).

It got me to thinking of how this wedding this morning -- and my recent one with the (never again to be called great) thoughtful Turner - is just a little part of an incredible circle of both my first and second life (after all, I started early with second parents don't forget).

As I look afresh at my new responsibilities as a wife (even a virtual one), I can see how difficult some of this will be. But I know that good things will be birthed (and no, I do not think I am pregnant) from my efforts and my dedication….if I do not grow weary of doing well.

Everyone one of us faces life changes. Some are good. Some are difficult. Some are bad and hurt us. Some heal us and some even help us grow if we will only look for the lessons – as we have been taught to look for the silver lining in the black clouds.

The virtual world gives us hope as well as despair. The virtual world gives us the opportunity to see ourselves as others see us sometimes. It offers us the chance to try something over again and do it right this time – if we can ever shake off the bonds of our past memories and actually try a different way.

A Second-Second Chance

I’ve noticed a lot more people with ALTS (a second AV – see above) lately -- and can’t help wondering if this might not be because we are who we are no matter what our outer form looks like – no matter how many times we try to reinvent ourselves.

We can’t escape our heart, or our wounds, or our experiences, just because we can live behind new Avs – no matter how many we might create.

As AVs, we may escape death (although symbolic death and suicide has happened with people I have truly cared for) but we can never escape life as long as we are alert – because life, as they say – HAPPENS!

The AV that dies however, hides somewhere in my inventory on a “calling card”….with all the memories and/or notes I may have put there to remind me of them. It stays in my inventory to help me be more careful next time with the next person I meet.

They might need me and I might need them and we might just become good friends -- both in the virtual world and in the real world….you never know.

I just hope I live my life enough to fill it up as much as my dear Owen and Doris have. That would be a model to strive for! They have always given of themselves. They have never hoarded their possessions or their time or their efforts. They have never lied or made lame excuses. They have never played politics, watched much TV or played computer games (well that is the truth). They have travelled all over the world (on a strict budget and only one piece of luggage allowed). They have read books and gone to so many seminars and services. They have studied all kinds of topics. But most of all -- every day -- they have enjoyed each other!

Finally, they held hands when they walked together or sat together. I hope I do that when I am old…hold his hand.

Anyway, now I’m rambling, but today….well I just needed to ramble on a bit. Thanks for listening.

What Does Make Us Human?

What Makes Us Human?

His Mom sent him a sort of thought for the day. ((an exceptional Mom, to say the least.))

“In an effort to internalize our conscious understanding of the nature of cause and effect, we can never truly know how our thoughts, emotions, words, or actions will manifest themselves on the larger universal stage because it is likely that the furthest-reaching effects will fall outside the range of our perception.”

As always, these words placed together bring other ideas to me, the first is of a line in a song. “Preserve your memories, there are all that’s left you.” I think of movies such as The Butterfly Effect, Sliding Doors, The 6th Sense or Dark City, all touch on the concept of cause and effect and memories.

What makes us human? Is it that we can appreciate and contrive humour? Is it that we have language or use tools? Or is it our memories? I’m sure many have scientific answers to this question as to what makes us human, but I like to think that connecting with our own memories and remembering the highlights of other’s memories around is part of it.

A Seventh Sense?

Perhaps what makes us human is a seventh sense: the sum total of our memories and the memories of those we love and/or read about.

I think of the movie, “Short Circuit”, where Number Five is alive because he suddenly begins to, not just cough up bits of stuff he has memorised, he moves to something like the beginning of wisdom – where connections between memories and ideas surpass his processing speed and abilities.

Where suddenly communication begins to flow from the heart, based on memories and based on such impossible concepts as love, hope and faith, truth, trust and loyalty.

An Interruption

So what happens when something interferes with memories? Say if you don't have your memories past or current, such as happens in some diseases (Alzheimer's Disease); through a medical procedure or treatment, an accident or stroke. How does that affect your ability to appreciate your own humanness? Is it something you think about?

What makes us human? It is the stuff of dreams…and memories…and good timing.

Writing Agony

Some days writing is like giving birth! Nothing comes closer to the agony of trying to fit a million little pieces of colourful and colourless green and white and blue and red and purple unrelated words; independent words, into an orderly, progressive and compelling message. NOTHING. Absolutely, bloody nothing.

You sit and you stare at the page, the keyboard, out the window. You go for a walk, you come back. You sit down. You crack your knuckles before touching the keyboard in an act of ritualistic sacrifice and prepration. The keyboard remains silent. You glare at it as if it would suddenly jump to attention and satisfy the growing frustration in the middle of your brain. Something there wiggling and making you so uncomfortable you can’t sit down any longer.

Up again, you run down the stairs and then back up. You make a cup of tea and let it grow cold as you run back downstairs to fill the sugar canister and the sugar bowl and then decide it is coffee you need after all. So you pull down the coffee maker and search for the filters and coffee. Darn, you are almost out of coffee and will have to open the sealed bag of Vittoria special grind Arabica beans espresso. That on the brew you return to your keyboard.

Music to Sooth the Beast

No. you need music. Yes, that is it! Handle, Suite in G Minor or Rosinni William Tell overture. So lovely. And as the violin bow moves so gently it begins -- the flow of words, softly dripping off your hands and you smile to yourself at the sheer beauty and power of little black letters on the white screen.

Yes, yes, yes!!! Better than….well you know.

More perfect words! You know this is a GOOD space, finally!

And the phone rings!

You do not answer it, but it unhinges your for a moment. Then you smell the coffee drawing your thoughts back down those 20 stairs to the kitchen. Will you go now or let it turn to mud as you couple with this process of writing? A difficult decision actually, even though you decided to drink the tepid tea in the meantime because you know in your heart you NEED the coffee.

And the overture is building and strengthening, the brass is coming to a great conclusion and well you have no choice you get up. The smell of coffee has defeated you.

You push away from the keyboard as the white that remains on the screen begins to relentless accuse you. You remove your headphones regretting leaving the music, wishing the cord would reach all the way down the stairs, but it wont.

And with steely determination, you move away from your desk and down the mahogany brown steps to the kitchen. You sail to the coffee maker and check to see if the little bell has told you you can now have a cup.

This Pavlovian control is frustrating if you have miss-timed your trip down the stairs. You may have to wait for up to four minutes and minutes are growing more precious as your brain keeps spewing words, one after another, in the continual out flowing of these moments that won’t come again. You wish you had paper and pen with you as you pace and wait for the little bell, but you don’t.

And if you leave you know the bell will again call you back to the kitchen with a contrived timing that is only designed to make you go spare (Aussie for a bit nutty).

So you stand there accusing the coffee maker of stalling. You pace back and forth in time to the last piece of music that was playing in your head….Robin Hood overture (I forgot he has an overture) and you enjoy trying to reformulate the harmonies and intricacies. And rooted to the spot at the altar of the coffee maker, you sway back and forth imagining the bright lights of the opera house as you walk onto the stage with your violin (that you never mastered) and play your sweet and soothing solo.

Then, you remember you are a bit peckish (Aussie for hungry) and you take the delay time to raid the fridge and find spinach and feta scones. You know you have made a good choice with this. Selecting the biggest one (no one will ever know), you split it and put a precise amount of butter on each half and nuke it (throw it in the microwave). The scent is divine as you pull it out of the heating chamber and it is only beaten by the fragrance of the nearly ready coffee.

The BELL !!!

Hurrah!! I grab my favourite, big blue mug -- made in Spain -- and fill it with the brown fluid and splash in a bit of milk and begin trudging back up the stairs with my hot coffee in one hand and the hot scone in the other, torturing my senses, My mouth begins to water from the promise of this tasty little reward.

And then, having slowly consumed and savoured the treat and sipped some of the amazing coffee, I turn back to my cooling keyboard and …..

It is gone…..

Thank You Friend

They say hope springs eternal in the human breast....sometimes what you need to remind you of hope is a good friend that will stand by you when few others will. Thank you to SF.

Winning Is Everything...

Winning or losing? You win and you lose...but will you lose or win this toss? We will write and I will be wrong to one for this. There is no way to stop. Yet the ending will be rewritten, won't it? Is all that we see or seem, but a dream within a dream? Or am I still dreaming?

Never Alone

No matter what, you are always with me.