The Hammer, the Nail and the Rose

The Rose
Lyrics by Bette Midler

Some say love, it is a river
That drowns the tender reed.
Some say love, it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed.
Some say love, it is a hunger
An endless aching need.

I say love, it is a flower
And you, it's only seed.
It's the heart, afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance.
It's the dream, afraid of waking
That never takes the chance.

It's the one who won't be taken
Who cannot seem to give.
And the soul, afraid of dying
That never learns to live.

When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
And you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed
That with the sun's love, in the spring
Becomes the rose


Being patient and being passive is actually not the same thing -- although from the outside they may look rather the same. You can wait your whole life for good fortune or even love to come your way, but there comes a time when you must take action. And any action always has a reaction or consequence. Any action you take can result in failure.

It is your choice to act, to wait, to walk away or run and hide. However, if you don’t act, you will never know the potential for success and personal joy from that success. The worst that can happen is that you will learn a new lesson to help you along to future wisdom. If you do not try you miss opportunities (like the “million dollar idea” you have every day) to grow and learn. The worst part of it is that these opportunities may not come again.

Be Bold

Being bold is the opposite of being passive. When you are bold, YOU and YOU alone choose your destination. You set your own course (especially recognising there are risks, consequences and the potential for loss or failure). Once you choose to be bold, you also can choose to “take it back”, to reverse directions or course correct your path if you see it is not taking you where you thought it would -- or where YOU wanted to go.

To be bold means you act – not with ruthless aggression or even anger or passive withdrawal -- but with determined and healthy energy. When you are bold, you reach out toward what you know you want and you move toward this goal – because you really do know it will not magically appear, no matter how long you wait or how much you wish for or want it.

Personal Application

For me, this means that the foreignness of boldness in all matters of friendship – especially in matters of the heart -- must be reconsidered. I have watched the passing of many dear friends and many more I have simply lost through my own fear or passivity or inertia. It is easy to write this, yet it will take the same boldness and courage I have in my business life to now redirect these energies -- or to at least work on a better balance.

So, just for today, just for this hour I am going to choose to act, not react – to be the hammer not the nail. Because, well just listen to the words of the song The Rose again....